I’ll be honest with you – I love myself so much. I mean, I’ve basically made my diary public. Given the opportunity I’d stare into a pool of water to watch my reflection until I die.
Staring into said pool, my morning morning liturgy includes checking Facebook (Do you think I’m funny? Insightful? Isn’t my kid cute?), Twitter (Did you like my most recent, pithy thought?), WordPress (Aren’t I just a great writer?), and Timehop (And haven’t I always been?).
Except every time I check Timehop I’m slightly, very embarrassed about the stuff I used to share on social media when I was a wee lad. I was so goofy. I was a clown.
Yesterday, when I checked Timehop there was a timelapse video of my face from when I first joined social media to my most recent photo. Perhaps your Timehop did the same? Indulging in my favorite indulgence, myself, I noticed two things in the short video:
- I’m far better looking now. Much better looking.
- I’m a grown up.
Sorry, I’m a Christian I should’ve capalized that. I’ll try again:
I’m a Grown Up.
In the final Narnia book, The Last Battle, one of the original four Pevensie children, Susan, who went through the wardrobe in Spare Oom didn’t get to enter into New Narnia with Aslan and her siblings and friends. Polly Plummer, the girl who was there at the birth of Narnia, explained it to the others this way: “[Susan] wasted all her school time wanting to be the age she is now, and she’ll waste all the rest of her life trying to stay that age. Her whole idea is to race on to the silliest time of one’s life as quick as she can and then stop there as long as she can.”
If we can ignore Lewis’ unfortunate mysogyny and the Problem of Susan (it’s hard to the older I get which is a damn shame since The Last Battle is my favorite Narnia book) there’s something to note in Susan’s story.
I’ve so enjoyed becoming a Grown Up. I’m comfortable in my role as husband, father, pastor, poet. I like to imagine that what I do is Important, Mature, Respectable. There is no time for silliness, we have Serious Things to Be About. And I’ve become a different sort of clown.
That I might remain a friend of Narnia I’ve decided that one of my many New Years Resolutions – because I’m a bundle of contradictions – is to be a little less Self-Serious. Still grown up but maybe less Grown Up.
So, I wrote a poem.
I Walked to the Coffeeshop Dressed Like a Poet to Write the Poem: “When an Evangelical Drinks Water From a Wine Glass Something is Being Communicated” (A Poem)
God, I hope this means
something. No room, thanks,
just black please.